Baring My Soul: Father’s Day

I cannot sleep and still am very much wide awake at 5:15 am on Father’s Day...



Ah Father’s Day …



One specific topic that strikes me to my very core is my father (or his absence in my life).



Discussing it always turns me - a supposedly strong, confident and accomplished woman, into a young vulnerable girl once again who constantly wonders about, and yearns for her father.



I hardly know Papa, yet I miss him a lot. How I ache for him, especially during the past few days, as I prepare for one of the most, if not THE most, important occasions of my life.



As the sun rises today, on father's day, I found myself writing the following poem...





How I Wish Papa Were There





How I wish Papa were there

to read me a story

and tuck me in bed when I was a kid.



How I wish Papa were there

to hold my hand on my first day of school

or teach me how to ride my first bike.



How I wish Papa were there

to share his interests with me

and laugh and be amazed

at how very much alike or different we were

yet still insist that I do take after him



How I wish Papa were there

to cheer for me on graduation day

and beam with pride for my accolades

and say, “Yep, that’s my baby girl up there”.



How I wish Papa were there

to jokingly threaten my boy friends

to help me nurse a broken heart

or my bruised pride

and give me advice on love and life.



How I wish Papa were there

on birthdays and graduations

when I landed my first job

and share all those other moments

that have brought me joy and otherwise



But most of all

Oh how I long

for Papa to be there

On my wedding day

To walk me down the aisle

To give me away to my beloved

And kiss me on the forehead

As we do our father-daughter dance



How I wish Papa were there

To see his grandchildren grow up

And shed some truth to what people say

About grandparents loving their grandchildren

Much more than their own children



Nonetheless, I know deep down

That Papa has always been with me

Smiling from up above

or perhaps even right next to me

Each and every minute of my life.



So Papa, I thank you

For being a source of strength

and inspiration.

Who and where I am today

is partly and perhaps, even wholly

because of you



I appreciate and cherish

the fleeting,

yet special moments

we spent together.



I hope you are

proud of your little girl.



I love you dearly and unstintingly.





Below is one of my favorite father and daughter song, "Butterfly Kisses".

I dedicate this song to Papa and all the other fathers, parents and children out there.

Please treasue every moment you have with your loved ones.



Butterfly Kisses

by Bob Carlisle



There's two things I know for sure

She was sent here from heaven

And she's daddy's little girl

As I drop to my knees by her bed at night

She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes

And I thank God for all of the joy in my life

Oh but most of all



For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer

Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair

Walk beside the pony daddy it's my first ride

I know the cake looks funny daddy but I sure tried



Oh with all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve a hug every mornin'

And butterfly kisses at night



Sweet 16 today

She's lookin' like her mama a little more every day

One part woman the other part girl

To perfume and make up from ribbons and curls

Trying her wings out in a great big world

But I remember



Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer

Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair

You know how much I love you daddy

But if you don't mind

I'm only gonna kiss you on the check this time



Oh with all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve her love every mornin'

And butterfly kisses at night



All the precious time

Like the wind the years go by

Precious butterfly

Spread your wings and fly



She'll change her name today

She'll make a promise and I'll give her aways

Standing in the bride room just staring at her

She asked me what I'm thinkin'

And I said I'm not sure

I just feel like I'm loosin' my baby girl

And she leaned over



Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there

Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair

Walk me down the isle daddy

It's just about time

Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?

Daddy's don't cry



Oh with all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve her love every mornin'

And butterfly kisses



I couldn't ask God for more than this is what love is

I know I've got to let her go but I'll always remember

Every hug in the mornin' and butterfly kisses



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heouDje_di0